Captain Swan Pillow Talk
by Ilovemesomekillianjones
Summary: Quiet talks between Emma and Killian as they share their bed.
1. Chapter 1

They lay there in bed, a warm, comforting ambiance surrounding them in their sated state. It was late into the evening and the only light present was the moonlight shining through their window, illuminating them in pale shades. Facing each other, they each wore a silly smile, stupidly happy over an uninterrupted moment to partake in each other. Killian's expression became pensive as he continued to stare into his true love's eyes.

"What is it, Mr. Jones? I can read you too, you know? Something is stirring in that head of yours," Emma told him, then took his right hand in her left and laced their fingers before bringing their joined hands to her heart.

"Well, I was just…" he trailed off, unsure where to start. He didn't want her to think he was being ridiculous.

She unlaced their fingers and put his hand on her bare chest, at her heart, then brought her hand to his face to caress his scruffy cheek. "Anything, Killian, you can say _anything_ to me."

He chuckled at her ability to put him at ease with such simple words. "Okay. Remember when we traveled back to the Enchanted Forest to save your parent's future?"

Emma nodded her head, smiling fondly at the memory.

"And when we were written into Isaac's story? Camelot, the Underworld, even the beanstalk-"

"Yes, babe, I remember it all. Why?"

Killian took his hand from her heart and wrapped his arm around her torso, mirroring the closeness he wished to speak about, "In each of those scenarios we found each other, saved each other, or made quite the team fighting off evil. We were more together than apart, like the universe was telling us that in any time or place, you and I were meant to be."

Emma didn't know quite where he was headed, but she waited patiently, caressing his cheek.

"You haven't told me much about what went on in the wish realm, but I do know we crossed paths. And, well, I was just wondering if there was any connection between us, as there always has been?"

Emma was caught off guard at the vulnerability in his voice. Why would he be concerned over anything that went on in a fake version of events? With her hand that still lay on his cheek she pulled him into a light kiss. "Killian, the wish realm wasn't real. It was some fucked up version of what Regina's evil half _thinks_ I wished for. Everything in that realm came from that demented mind."

"Even still, humor a man, Swan? What was I like?" Killian smirked at her, "Was I still devilishly handsome? A charming scoundrel? Did I still captain the finest vessel in all the realms? Did I elicit fear in even the bravest of men? Did I make a certain princess swoon and want?"

Emma giggled at his penchant for over the top monologues. "Hmmm, that's a lot of questions, let me think." Emma paused, gauging just how forthcoming she needed to be, then answered his questions in rapid fire succession as he had asked them, "Yes, not in the traditional sense, I don't know, probably not, and you didn't know my name, so…" She knew immediately by Killian's furrowed brow that she was going to need to be more forthcoming than that.

Killian stared questioningly at her, then he adjusted his pillow with his blunted wrist so he could prop himself up a bit. "What?"

Emma laughed at his blatant confusion. She quickly sobered though as she realized that she was not at all sure how to break it to the confident pirate hero that he was not the same man as he is today. Deciding that the best jumping off point was to reiterate that this was all a delusional dream world, she set about the task of letting Captain Killian Jones down easily regarding his not so gallant representation of the Captain Hook.

"Killian, if I tell you, first you have to promise to remember that although I was there, and you were there, none of it was real," she said, choosing her words carefully, so she didn't cause concern in her overly dramatic pirate.

"We have an accord, my love," he smiled, eagerly awaiting her recap of events.

Still facing each other, Emma took a deep breath and drew strength from their connection, steeling herself to the overreaction that was sure to come. "Well, I was desperate to find a way home… to you, and Henry, and I ran into August. He agreed to help me by re-creating a wardrobe to send Regina and I home. While we were in the forest to retrieve the enchanted wood, we were ummm, well that is to say, we ran into you, or rather you stumbled into us."

Killian was watching her with rapt attention, nodding his head encouraging her to continue when she paused. "Was I there to rescue you?"

Emma nodded her head unconvincingly and Killian narrowed his eyes, "What aren't you telling me, love?"

She let out a deep sigh, "Like a bandaid, right?"

"What?" he asked, shaking his head in confusion.

"Alright, you thought you were going to rescue me from August, and even though I tried to tell you I didn't need rescuing, you persisted. You didn't even know my name," she chuckled. "I believe you called me Enya." She felt his arm tense around her torso as he started to pull away. "Come back here, what's the matter? Can't handle it?"

Killian huffed at her challenge, "Perhaps you misheard, _Emma_ ," he overemphasized her name.

"I did not mishear you. After you called me the wrong name you challenged August to a duel, and promptly lost your sword." She brushed his hair from his forehead and carded her fingers through his hair. She would probably forever wonder if wish realm Hook's hair was as soft and full as her Killian's, even though it was no longer black.

Killian scoffed, "You're making this up, Swan!"

"No, _I'm_ not, but I tried to tell you that the Evil Queen did make this bullshit realm! When you charged August I had to take you down with a bit of magic, so you didn't hurt yourself, then I poofed you back to the Jolly, which by the way, I have no clue if she was still the finest vessel in all the realms, but you were her captain."

"Him," Killian grumbled.

"Huh?"

"Him, Swan, you meant so I didn't hurt him."

Emma let out a full belly laugh at this part. "No, Killian, I meant what I said, so you didn't hurt yourself. You weren't quite as… svelte as you are here, in the real world. Your swordplay was a little lackluster, and you were also about 50… ish," she said the last part barely above a whisper, and faster than Grumpy had ever interrupted a quiet moment between her and her pirate.

"Come again?"

"I'd love to," Emma replied cheekily, trying to appeal to his baser instincts.

"No, no, no, no, no," he declined, pulling his arm away from her waist, and waving his finger back and forth. "What did you say?"

"Oh my gosh, Killian. You were about fifty five, okay? Or maybe sixty. And you had the cutest ever beer gut." She couldn't help the snicker that slipped through her lips when his eyes practically popped out of his face.

"I get older each time you speak love," he pouted, rolling over on his back and throwing his blunted arm over his face. "So to recap, I was not devilishly handsome, nor was I a charming scoundrel. I couldn't even elicit fear in the wooden man child-"

"But you still had the Jolly, and I said yes, you were devilishly handsome," she interrupted, trying to find him a silver lining. She snuggled into his side, placing her hand at his chest, above his heart, preparing to shock him with the last part.

Unwilling to see her positive spin, Killian continued on, "And the greatest travesty of all? I most certainly did not make a certain princess swoon and want."

"Well, if you would stop interrupting and being so damn dramatic, I'd be able to finish," Emma scolded while running her fingers through his coarse chest hair. She continued on, ghosting her fingers over his neck and back to his cheek where she turned his face to look at her. "Despite my initial surprise at how different you were, I still saw _you_ in there. Your hair was longer, and it was gray, with bits of silver and whi-"

"You're not helping," he drawled out.

She put her her thumb over his mouth to quiet him, "My turn to talk, pirate. It was gray, silver, and white, and it hung in your face, just as it does now when it gets a little longer. You even had to take a moment to properly flip it out of your eyes, it was pretty hot." Emma laughed when he rolled his eyes, a sure sign he'd been around her for a long time now, and turned his head to admire the ceiling once more. "You still had your soulful, beautiful, blue eyes, and this scruffy thing here," she added, leaning in to nip along the chiseled edge of his jawline, while scooting her leg over his.

"There is no need to appease me, Swan, I assure you my ego, though bruised, will recover."

"I'm not trying to appease you, you stubborn pirate," she murmured into his ear before biting down on his lobe. Emma teased, fondled, and caressingly touched his body, stopping to play with each spot that she knew he enjoyed, listening as his breath became heavier. Following the path of his treasure trail she finally reached the promised land. Wrapping his rock solid length in her soft hand she stroked him lovingly, then released his ear from her wet mouth to look at him, even as he looked skyward. "I'm trying to tell you that I still would have done you."

Killian's head whipped in her direction comically quickly. His eyebrow reached for his hairline, and his tongue traced his bottom lip as he appraised the truth of her words. "Is that so?"

"Yes, Captain. You weren't the same as you are now, but you were still you. Had it not been for your high handed attempt at an unnecessary rescue we might've been able to actually talk. But that's all a moot point as that world, or realm, or fucked up alternate universe, whatever you want to call it, it was not real. I would never wish for any of those things. I would never wish for myself and everyone I know to be the worst versions of themselves, which is exactly what the Evil Queen created."

Killian stared at Emma in awe. "How did you do that?"

"Do what," she asked.

"Take me down, stomp me a few good ones, pick me up, make it better, and turn me on within the span of a few minutes?"

"Well, it is all the truth," she whispered, a bright smile taking over her face. "Kilian how could you ever think that I wouldn't love you in any place or time where I have free will. While the universe may thrust us together time and time again, and we are Zeus approved, _I_ am telling you we are meant to be, anytime, and anyplace.

Killian's answering smile puts her at ease that he understands and believes the words she is saying. Then suddenly his lips are on hers, and he pulls her the rest of the way over his body. They spend the night showing each other how they are meant to be, and why they are meant to be, murmuring words of love and forever.


	2. Chapter 2

_Written for #kjam17 here is a bit of an angsty CS pillow talk regarding Killian's heroism._

She was still shaking as he held her flush against his body, arm wrapped tightly around her middle. "Relax, love. The town is safe once again, and no one is worse for the wear."

A broken sob escaped before she could contain it, and she rolled over to face him. "That's not the point, Killian. You could have died!" _Again_ , she thought. Emma had watched helplessly once more as Killian had made ready to sacrifice himself on yet another battlefield this afternoon. Though the need hadn't arose, she was still furious with him. She'd barely spoken to him on the way home. She'd taken a little of her aggression out on him in the bed, having her way with him fast and hard.

Killian had mistaken her rough affection for a battle high, right up until she'd pushed off him moments after orgasm and told him she was pissed at him. Emma had headed straight to the shower making it clear with a look that he was most definitely _not_ invited to join her. Killian had laid in bed wondering what had happened between their victory and this moment. He was sure he'd gotten her off. Twice in fact, if he wasn't mistaken. He thought to earlier on the field and suddenly realized what was eating away at her. Being the wise husband he could be, he let her finish her shower alone, then took his own and gave her a chance to settle into bed. When he finally climbed in behind her, he was met with her shaking body, and frayed nerves. He wrapped his arm around her waist and cradled her to his body.

"Emma, I-"

"No, Killian. I need you here, we haven't had enough time yet. I am so sick and goddamn tired of you sacrificing yourself. Let someone else do it for-"

"Like you?" he interrupted, a thinly veiled anger lacing his tone at the mere thought of losing her.

"Like anyone," she yelled turning over in his arms to face him. "You've died more times than I care to recall. You don't always have to be the hero."

"In any time, and any realm love, it's me before you, my life for yours. I will not let you die if I can stop it from happening. If that means that I no longer live so you can, then so be it," he explained softly.

Emma broke down into tears, "That's exactly what I mean. I can't watch you leave me again." The emotions of this battle had really eaten their way inside her. She was so used to having to attend to everyone around them that it was rare she had to really deal with her own feelings.

Killian wiped at the tears streaming down her cheeks, a few of his own welling up. He rubbed her back gently as she took deep breaths. He knew one of Emma's least favorite pastimes was feeling out of control.

"I'm going to attempt to tell you what I'm feeling. You and I both know this isn't my strong suit, but this is important to me Killian," she said after regaining a little composure.

"Aye, Swan, I'm listening," he murmured kissing her forehead.

"Before I ever knew what we were, it killed me to see Cora, Pan, and even Regina threatening your life. It made me ache to know you might die because of me. At first I chalked it up to getting emotional over a human life being threatened, then over time I grudgingly started to realize it had more to do with you specifically. You have always done the heroic thing where I am concerned. You took me to Neverland to find my son, you traded your ship for me, you followed me into an unknown abyss and were my prince. I was falling for you that whole time, and those were the heroics that I could handle. Before you, no one had ever done anything for me, it was me, myself, and I."

Emma paused, breathing in deeply before she went into the next part. Caressing his stubbled cheek she continued, "Then we were sucked into Isaac's world. You will never know how much it hurt to watch you die, to see you sacrifice yourself so I could save everyone else. There was no guarantee that you'd be back in Storybrooke even if I succeeded, and up until that moment in my life, it was the single hardest thing I'd ever had to live through."

Killian brushed at the tears that had started to slide down her cheeks again. "Emma," he whispered.

"Let me finish."

He nodded his head silently.

"Then not only did I have to watch you die again, I had to be the one to do it. I know you've seen death, and I know you've had loved ones die in your arms. I'm not belittling that, but you are my true love Killian, and I had to kill you, I don't think you know what that does to a person. Then when we came to get you, you promised we'd leave that hellish realm together, and you tricked me into leaving you there." Her forehead and eyes ached trying to stop the tears that wanted to pour. Her chest was tight, and she was having trouble inhaling deeply again.

"I'm sorry, Emma. They needed you. Henry and your parents needed you."

"Don't you get it, Killian," she cried out, " _I need you._ " She pounded her fist against his chest trying to get him to understand. Trying to make him feel just one ounce of the hurt she felt at losing him repeatedly. The floodgates opened again, and she was inconsolable once more.

"Forgive me," Killian choked out raggedly as his own tears fell. Of course he knew how Emma felt about him. But it broke his heart to hear her telling him that she needed him, as though she thought he didn't care about her needs. "Forgive me, my love." He kissed her through the tears, then rested his forehead to hers.

"Come to other realms with me when I'm swept away, take me where I need to go to help the town, fight by my side, gamble with the Jolly. Just please stop sacrificing yourself." Emma kissed him fiercely, holding his face between her hands to make him see her. Looking deeply into his eyes she focused every feeling she had channeling it to him, "Stay. Choose to stay, that's all I'm asking. Stay here with me, Killian."


	3. Chapter 3

"This is my favorite place, of all the places we've ever been together," Killian told her. He was on his back, left arm behind his head, right arm around her.

"What do you mean? Places we've been together, or places we've… _been_ together?" Emma asked coyly. She was gathered in his arm, where he held her tightly against him. Resting atop the sheets in bed, legs intertwined they were enjoying the afterglow of an evening alone.

He chuckled at her cheekiness. "Every place we've… _been_ together is my favorite darling." He kissed her temple. But in all seriousness Swan, of every location we've been to, right here in our home is my very favorite."

"I'm not sure I've ever thought about it. I love being with you no matter where we are. It's not as though we've really vacationed or honeymooned, so there really aren't a ton of options."

"On the contrary, shall we start from the top?" he asked smugly, as though he'd already proven her wrong.

"Ok, enlighten me," she grinned at him as she carded her finger through the hair on his chest.

"Well, we met in the Enchanted Forest, we climbed a beanstalk, we ended up back here in Storybrooke. That is three so far. We travelled to Neverland, I came to New York to find you, that's five. We've journeyed aboard the Jolly several times, then we were written into Isaac's version of reality, and let's not forget Camelot, that's eight. Then of course you rescued me from the Underworld. If we count my old place at Granny's and the different places we landed in time and place of the Enchanted Forest we've almost reached a dozen, love."

"We would've reached a dozen if I'd been invited travel on the Atlantis with you, or Agrabah, or even the land of untold stories. I guess you just enjoy adventuring without me sometimes," she joked.

"You wound me Swan, will you not let a man be more than his mistakes?"

"Oh quit being so dramatic, you know I'm joking with you." She leaned over and kissed him as a reassurance.

Killian kissed her lovingly, knowing she'd fully forgiven him, but still feeling the need to atone. He pulled her fully on top of him, and encircled her body with both arms. "Aye, I know. So where is your favorite, love?"

"Before I tell you, I want to know why here in our home is your favorite."

"Aside from the obvious reasons-"

"I want them all-," she interrupted.

"Demanding this evening, Mrs. Jones. Alright then, obviously it is where you, Henry, and I call home. It is where our family was born, and will hopefully continue to flourish. It's the first place my heart has felt contented in over a century."

She stopped him there, interrupting to kiss him again. "This is my favorite place too, for similar reasons, and one more."

"And what's that?"

"It is the first place that has ever felt like an actual home. I lived in orphanages, group shelters, and houses growing up, _home_ was a myth. Then I met Henry, then you, and you both became my home. Once you picked this house for us, this became the first place I willingly shared with loved ones. We made this home, you, me and Henry."

Killian flipped her to her back, "Emma," he whispered, running a hand through her golden hair, sweeping it away from her face so he could admire her beauty. "I love you."

"I love you, Killian," she pecked his lips, "sorry I interrupted you. She grinned sheepishly at him, "You know me, if I don't blurt it out I end up saying it wrong or not at all."

Killian chuckled at his wife. He didn't mind at all, especially when it came to these private discussions they shared in bed. It's where some of their most important conversations took place. "No apologies," he murmured pulling her mouth to his.

Emma broke away panting a little as they'd started to get a little heated, "Wait, you still have to tell me your other reason."

"My last reason isn't as happy as the rest," he said, searching her eyes to gauge if it was okay for him to continue.

"Tell me anyways, I want to know," she assured him. Her eyes were bright as she waited for him to speak.

"You have seen me at my very worst here, Emma. I made several bad choices here in this home that affected you, and you still chose to see the best in me. You loved me through the darkness, through mistakes from my past, and through some old habits of self destructive behavior. All of that happened here, and that is why my favorite place you and I have ever been together, is our home."

"Killian," she whispered, "the same thing can be said for me. I haven't made the greatest decisions either, and you've always chosen me."

They rested their foreheads together, letting the unspoken love and apologies flow between them. The time for talking was over as they physically showed each other everything they felt in light of this newest discussion.


End file.
